And....

My nephew came to visit from New York in April because he usually does for the NFL draft and for his birthday. I should have put King down but I just could not. I felt horrible he was holding on for me. I was so depressed from losing my grandma. I functioned enough to work and come home. I took care of King. I smoke my cigarettes and barely ate. I was just barely making it and then one morning I woke up and knew it was time. I told my nephew what I had to do, because King’s wrist so too big and he was in too much pain. He was being such a good dog, he never complained or whined. I felt like a horrible dog mom for keeping him alive this long in so much pain. I NEEDED HIM. I am trying to write this through tears. I hope he forgives me. I put him down April 14, 2017. After losing my grandma and King back-to-back my world broke to pieces. I faked a smile for years. I stopped going to the gym or doing much of anything. I did what I had to do ya know, work, and pay bills, tell everyone I was fine. I was not, I was slowly getting worse. My health was starting to get worse because of the smoking. I was getting this nasty cough after about a year or so from their passing and knew I had to quit so I did cold turkey. I have quit before but this time it was harder. I did not have anything else to take my mind off things. I had to start figuring out what do I want in my life. For so long I put everyone’s needs in front of mines. But before I quit smoking and had to figure myself out the dreams came and little things started to happen around me.

At this point, I was still blocking my gift as much as I could. What I could not block was the dreams, and they sure did come. I am not sure how long after my grandma and King died when the dream of my grandma came. It was not right away; I know that because I cried way too much. I was drowning in tears every night. One night in 2017 my grandma came to me in my dream and she did not say anything, I was lying in bed about to go to sleep in my dream and she starts to lay down with me and I jump awake so fast because it felt so real and I cried so hard. It is hard for me to talk about it still. She has not come to me in a dream since. Then King started showing up in ways that were so comforting. I would cry before I fell asleep for so long and I would ask King if he would come sleep with me so I can sleep and right before I fell asleep, I felt the bed move. I felt his paws on the bed like he was about to jump up and then he circled and lay on my legs like he did and I kept my eyes closed and just felt him. I felt crazy because I was falling asleep and thought it is all in my mind. I felt the movement probably a hundred of times when he was alive so it is just from memory I would think. But he would come back just so I could sleep and not cry.  These coincidences I thought were just that and I was not believing myself that they were true so I saw a psychic medium to connect with them and see about the dreams. I was told that it was real and that they were with me. After about a year or so I started to feel like I needed to do more. I needed to know more about my intuitive abilities. It took me a couple of years and into Covid until I sought out a spiritual advisor to help me open more to my gift. She helps me align my chakras and clear them out. She helped me connect so I can see and speak with the other side and understand them. I am still learning it is a process and something I am slowly getting more use to everyday. I see shadows and feel spirits. Sometimes they scare me and sometimes they are just popping in to say hi. There are some I do not know at all. I get quite a few that like to come in and talk while I am in the bathroom right before I get in the shower. Most of the time is while I am on the toilet. They do not care. 😊 At least they let me shower in peace for the most part…

               This is just the beginning of my spiritual journey and I hope you all will stick around and join me for the ride. I hope you can relate and enjoy the process with me. There will be more stories as I continue this journey. I have several ideas that I will like to put in to fruition to help with spiritual cleansing for yourself and your home, so stay tuned for that soon!! Please comment and let me know about your experiences. I love to hear from you! Thank you!

We did not talk about it in my family on how to deal with those feelings. Even though my grandma was intuitive it was normal for her but she never explained how to deal with it to me. Always got reassured that was no need to be scared because they are not going to hurt you, but as a kid and teenager I still would question. But why am I feeling this way or seeing them and feeling them?? To her it was just because we can do so. As a child yes it was accepted but it was easier for the adults in my family just not to talk about it much and while I get it I wish they were more insightful back then but I learned more later in life.

THOUGHTS??? Feel free to comment and tell me your story!!